Nightmares

Well I haven't had one of these in awhile and last night's was especially terrifying.

For reference I recertified in CPR on Thursday which includes infant CPR, celebrated my niece's first birthday yesterday (she was born at home in 30 minutes and dad tied the cord off with a shoelace), my husband works away sometimes and his company just got a bunch of work which is unusual for this time of year, we live in a small town and my hospital is 40 minutes away and I'm a nurse.

In my dream my husband was currently working out of town. I woke up to go pee and had a contraction, out comes baby still in the unruptured sac and my placenta on to the floor. I had a clamp and scissors to cut the cord when it stopped beating but 0 knowledge of what to do with baby still in the sac. I tear it open with my hands and my baby is not breathing, I begin CPR while calling 911 knowing that if baby doesn't start breathing on his own we do not have time to get to a specialty hospital which would be minimum 1.5hrs lights and sirens.

I woke up panting and drenched in sweat absolutely terrified.