Relationship with mom

I try so hard to have a good relationship with my mom but she thinks so negative. She has trust issues, thinks everyone is against her, and is always acting like the victim. I really don’t know how to feel with it. I think the best option is to just distance myself when I’m able to be completely independent but I would hate to just cut my mom off. We argue all the time and I hate living this way. Arguing with my mom and not having a close relationship like other moms and their daughters. I’ve tried taking different approaches and communicating with her how I feel, but it goes through one ear and out the other. She doesn’t try to change. I know she is depressed and wishes her life was different and had more friends and people to talk to, but my mom is a difficult person to be around. She has a good heart but she is so selfish. A lot of the time I feel like it is healthier to just distance myself from her when I can, but at the same time I feel bad because I know at the end of the day, I am the only one who will feel with her bs. Sometimes I feel like it makes me a pushover but I’m not that kind of person. It’s just my mom... idk how to feel or what to do