So I really need help and this is going to be kind of long so bear with me please 😫 I just really need someone who understands. My significant other and I have been together for almost 6 years and we’ve always talked about having our kids pretty close in age. Well in August our daughter will turn 2 and he’s been talking more and more about having another baby soon. He’s really disappointed whenever I say not right now or just laugh it off. The only reason why I don’t really want another one yet is because I’m scared to after having postpartum depression with my first. He says that I just have to realize that it is all in my head which I understand but the thought of having another baby gives me soooo much anxiety.

Not only did I have ppd but at one point he had a porn addiction. We got through it, but part of the addiction was a lot of lying about it and the lying started right after I told him I was pregnant and again right after I had the baby. It was just always HORRIBLE timing. It made me feel even worse and ugly and just awful. We have overcame it, but I feel like it could happen again when I get pregnant and then again after our next baby 😭

(Side note because I know a lot of people won’t understand - for most of our relationship I was fine with porn and knew about it but when it became an addiction, it was a problem. Especially when his dad had a sex addiction and made issues in his marriage.)

I just need someone to tell me that I’m not crazy and what they did/would do to overcome this. I want 3 more kids but I have no clue when I won’t be scared anymore.