Long post, should I keep pushing this? Intimacy issues with bf

Hi to start off my bf and I have been together for 4 months barely and we have a 14 year age gap I’m 23 he’s 37. And I just want to put out there if I’m just over reacting or being childish tell me😩 I have a lot of anxiety issues that revolve around self worth fr years and years now. So I know a lot of this is my anxiety speaking

we’ve been spending a lot of time together and things have been really good. Something I’ve noticed lately is that our sex drives have been settling down since I’ve been spending so many night at his place. At the beginning it would be about 5 nights a week to about 1-3 nights a week. Which isn’t a big deal.

I recently got let go from my job (starting a new one next week) and he’s been working his full hours so he’s tired after work and lately I’ve been denied pretty frequently. I t was bothering me but I didn’t say anything bc I was trying to be understanding.

Last week he got very very sick and I basically spent the whole week taking care of him (which he told me he appreciated) (so no sex at all last week) but this entire week we had sex once (Valentine’s Day, we didn’t see each other all day bc he worked) and it ended up being a quickie for him and afterwards he just rolled over and tried to sleep. I asked him to cuddle but he said he was tired and slept.

So every night after (3 nights) I’ve been trying to initiate sex but two nights he flat out said he was too tired (which led to us arguing bc I called him out as to why he’s been denying me lately) and last night I tried to kiss him and start something up and he was basically not responding so I gave up (he then told me I give up too easily, and I said he wasn’t reciprocating anything is kissing me back or feeling me up) so that led to another argument.

All three arguments were in bed right after we turned off the tv for the night

The first night of us arguing was basically me telling him I was feeling insecure bc he’s been denying me and he basically listened but didn’t even turn around to look at me. I gave up bc I felt like I was talking to a wall (which I expressed and he thought it was ridiculous, bc just bc he had his back to me didn’t mean he wasn’t listening. Whatever I gave up)

The second night I expressed it again, I told him again that I didn’t know what I was doing wrong and the argument didn’t go anywhere. I basically forgot what we argued this night. But at the end I asked if we could cuddle and he said no.

Last night, I asked why he wasn’t reciprocating and in the heat of us arguing he mentioned something about “it’s the way you ask for it” and when I asked what he meant he didn’t want to explain. (I usually start kissing his neck/ back and ask if he’s tired ect.) so I asked him to just tell me if he’s feeling some type of way with me (my anxiety speaking) and if he’s done with me to just tell me he said that wasn’t the case and I asked what it was and he said “if I tell you what it is then you’re going to make a big deal” I demanded to know and he wouldn’t say anything finally he said I was smothering him and to just let him sleep. After that he rolled over and was quiet. I couldn’t sleep and I’m assuming he couldn’t either bc I didn’t hear him start snoring until maybe an hour later. He ended rolling over and curling up next to me at night and I was cuddling him in the morning.

When we woke up this morning he switched up on me. He was awake basically half an hour before I was and when I woke up he layed down next to me and said “okay I think we need to talk about this” I got up to close the door and he said “first of all I want you to know I really care about you ... (he paused like he was thinking what to say next) “but what you gunna do about this dick?” (A joke, he started joking around to lighten the mood I’m assuming). I was confused but I guess the joke got to me I wasn’t mad anymore. I started saying I was sorry I’ve been making a big deal about us not having sex. I said “it’s not about us not fucking it’s the lack of intimacy, it’s part of how I feel loved” (2nd love language, 1st is quality time). And he said “so me telling you I love you during the day doesn’t mean anything to you?” And I said “that’s not what I’m trying to say it’s just I’m the type that needs the intimacy and getting denied is affecting my self esteem. (We ended up getting distracted because his brother wanted to hang out with him).

The whole “your smothering me” thing was still ringing in my head and I decided to go home early. (Told him I had some errands to run)

So we texted about it a bit more once he dropped me off.

After this text he said he didn’t want to wait until next week to see me and we just agreed I’d go over Wednesday.

I don’t feel like anything was even resolved honestly but I just want to drop it and move on from it bc it’s stressing me out. Plus what if a lot of what I’m feeling is just my anxiety