No longer craving affection LONG post

So a little backstory on me I am 22 and would consider myself a late bloomer. I didn't have my first kiss until 18 and I lost my virginity a week before my 20th birthday. In high school I wanted to be in a relationship so bad but never dated. I lacked a lot of confidence because I was overweight and no one was interested in me. Well now I'm significant smaller then I was in high school and look a lot different. Guys who have never spoken to me in high school started hitting me up through social media. I have been in friends with benefit relationships where I was treated very badly. I got pregnant at 21 and had a miscarriage so I've been through a lot and the dad of the baby was extremely abusive to me.

Well fast forward to now, when people try to show me too much affection I am totally turned off. I feel almost like my feelings have shut off. Right now I actually would prefer just hooking up with guys and not getting attached to them almost like a fuckboy mindset. I dont really care what guys think of me and I dont change my appearance for any man. I used to care so much but I'm not sure if it's because I am now more confident or if it's because I'm numb. When I hug or kiss people I feel nothing, I only do that when I'm in a sexual situation.

I know I'm only 22 but eventually I would like to have a baby and a family but I cant find anyone that fits the bill. I just feel totally disconnected from everyone and I see everyone as temporary. I dont care about friendships either, I'm so used to being alone and doing my own thing. I feel like I prefer sex now over a relationship. Sex is more pleasing to me right now I guess. Maybe relationships just aren't for me and I need to be okay with that...