My husband is struggling. The pressure of knowing we HAVE to have sex on certain days has gone to his head and it has become very difficult for him to perform. We’re at a point in our process where decisions have to be made and each cycle has become increasingly more difficult for us to be able to have sex. We are currently doing Femara/trigger/TI and are on our last cycle of that. We were only able to have sex one time during our “window.” Now we have to decide what our next step is going to be. My dr wants to juice up my meds and incorporate gonal-f or follistim into my treatment and try that for 3-4 cycles (still doing the Femara/trigger/TI). The next step would be <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>, then <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>. We have unexplained infertility so our RE is being pretty conservative about treatment and not pushing for the more aggressive stuff quite yet.

At this point, I think we would be better off just going straight to <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>. I don’t want to pump myself full of these expensive meds, go in for countless appointments and ultrasounds and bloodwork, and then PRAY that my husband is able to do his part because if he can’t-which is very likely-then all of it was for nothing. Just a huge waste of time and money and energy, not to mention the dealing with the side effects of the meds. For nothing. Of course our RE doesn’t know about the performance issues yet because my husband didn’t want to open up about that with him (he’s in denial that it’s actually a problem and he’s convinced he can fix it) but I feel like that’s likely the direction he would lead us if he knew about it. I’m just wondering if anyone in this group has faced something similar and what they did about it? I feel so lost in all of this.

(Please don’t tell me to just not tell him when I’m ovulating. I tried that for a long time but after nearly two years of trying to conceive, he has figured out how everything is timed. The ship has sailed for being able to keep that from him-plus he wants to be involved in this whole process and not make me go through it alone.)