Walking Out...

Today is beyond frustrating and emotional.

It won't be my best choice and the dumbest one I could make (so I won't) but here's how I'm feeling. I feel like walking out.

I posted a while back about my colleague who quit. Our corporate office decided filling that position wasn't needed. We were told no twice. We are a tax team. File and pay business taxes on paid premiums across 6 subsidiary companies. That's our main focus but we are also a financial compliance team meaning we do a ton of research and implementations!! I absolutely 1000% love my job but it's becoming too much!

I work alone now that my colleague quit. There are over 300 returns due that 1 person CAN NOT realistically process and file! On top of this we started late! To finish off our quarter 4 2019 data submissions. All 300+ returns are due March 1st. With 2 people we were already pushing it by February 28th. Now? I have roughly 150 more to do by end of next week and it's impossible. My manager is so desperate to prove to our corporate office that we need another person that she has ignored her manager telling her to jump in and help. She wants to prove that the workload is too much for me so I'm drowning. I've had 3 panic attacks so far this month and today I almost had another until I walked away from my desk. Some days I cry! I am mentally beat up. Like I said I loveeee my job but December- May we are extremely BUSY. Time off unless absolutely necessary can not be taken. If it weren't for having to do this work alone, I wouldn't feel this way. Because it's just me, there are other things we must do in between filings for other departments. I've asked time and time again for help! Even if it is only 1-2 days a week. I was told no.

I don't want to make an emotional decision and I make very good money. Great money. Can't complain but are my feelings justified? My mood is often down once I'm at work. I feel like crap (like a debbie downer, mood killer)

On top of this, if our corporate office says okay to finally bringing someone on, that won't happen until August or September. Meaning I would done this work for an entire year ALONE with no additional raise. Great salary or not.

Any advice? I don't know what to do.