Moving out of state for love and custody battles...

I want to move to California with my boyfriend but I’m so scared of asking my sons dad for permission.. I tried to move an hour away once and he said he’d go to war with me for custody. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year or so but his daughter is in LA, and her mom isn’t doing well mentally and needs help taking care of their child. I’ve known since we met that it was a possibility. Let me tell you, when you know you know. We both cry all the time about him having to eventually move. I’m not selfish and have never once asked him to not go. He pulled me aside last week and says, babe, I just need to keep u in the loop, this is happening now. I’m going to LA for two weeks to look at apts and jobs.

I think that we should try long distance for a year or so, see how it goes for him and if he decides to stay, we then decide if I should go too or stay here. We’re not young, both in our 30s, both work in workforce development and business management, I have two children, 9 and 2 and he has a 7 year old over there. I know I want him to be my life partner but he can’t find a way to bring her to Pennsylvania. Please some advice, or if anyone knows any legal actions that his dad would take against me. My son is 2 years old, extremely attached to his father, and I’m at a weird cross road. We’d be moving out there at separate times so he’d be able to help me find work and all that and said he’d help me with his half of the rent the first year in case he needs to come back. What do I do?????? Should I end the relationship with this man that I’m in a healthy relationship with or do I continue to date here and move on?

***** I also just wanted to add that I have thought about this in many which ways. My daughter has no father figure in her life and this na is the only man who’s willing to even be that for her. I’m just devastated because both my kids fathers abandoned me during pregnancy. Both of them walked out, but my sons dad, he is around for him, but he also walked out on us. I have considered ending things, I have considered moving, he’s even tried to figure out ways to bring her to live with us bcus he is very successful in his career here and doesn’t even have a job offer in CA yet. My intention isn’t to rip my son away from his dad at all and the move wouldn’t be instant. It’d be months of trial and error and who’s to say the relationship will even make it ? I’m just scared to lose on the one person I connect with on the level we do. I see it first hand in him as well. I would never want my kids father to feel how my boyfriend feels without his child. She decided to move there with his daughter in 2016, when he ended their relationship. So it’s not him who decided to create the separation there, it was her. I feel so guilty even considering moving there, I’m not looking for justification, just a friend who may have experienced it before or had a healthy coparenting situation from different states. My Heart is so heavy and so torn I just need an ear and an open heart