My friend is pregnant...again

My friend just told me yesterday that she's pregnant...again. She was pregnant a few months ago by a random guy. She chose to terminate that pregnancy. She's now pregnant by her boyfriend...

She was on birth control when she got pregnant both times. I've been off birth control for TWO years...not even a glimmer of a positive line. Life is just...not fair.

I'm angry at my body for not getting pregnant. I'm angry at my husband's subpar sperm. I'm angry that my husband won't allow us to move forward with adoption. I'm angry that my husband thinks he will be able to magically increase his sperm levels .. although nothing has gotten better...even with all the supplements.

It doesn't help that she told me while I'm sitting here with one of the heaviest periods I've had in a while.

I'm getting older. I'm older now than when we started our journey.

I'm just really fucking sad. I want to be happy for her, but I just want a baby of my own.