Financial turmoil (Long post)

I am so sick and tired of my husband being so financially impulsive and irresponsible. This has been an issue for our entire marriage just over 5yrs. Before getting married I only had 1 credit card with about 700 balance and some student loans. I had 20k in student loans and before we got married I had got it down to 5k. I am very financially responsible and feel anxious without saving and money in checking. My husband came with more debt than me but for the beginning of our marriage I immediately managed our finances and we were able to pay off his debt first and i put my last student loan on hold bc his debts had higher interest rates. With me managing the money we were able to live off his salary alone and I would put my whole check towards savings. We were debt free outside of our cars that we purchase after marriage within the first 2yrs of marriage. I didnt tell him what my strategy was bc if he knows theres money (savings) available he will see it as spending money and want to buy stuff. Eventually he became upset with the way I managed the money because I was very very tight on the budget and didnt allow for extra spending money he felt he should have. Like for eating out. I suggested packing lunch but he wanted me to pack his lunch or it wasnt gonna happen anyway after a huge fight I told him to just take over and see if he can do better. My intent was to teach him a hard lesson and hope that he would realize that he couldnt do it but no completelybackfired. He has no sense of saving. He overdrafts every single pay period, so fees for that, our lights we recently off. Our pets are behind on vaccines. And we are over 50k in debt now, only 3yrs later. Not to mention he wanted to buy a house which I adamantly told him no but he proceeded. I am not on the loan, I refused. He says at this point he fears foreclosure. He insisted on buying the house bc realtors in our area told him he would make 100k profit by the time we sell, and he believed them. But the 50k debt came from taking out loans multiple times to try to stay above water. So even IF you make 100k, ur in debt 50k PLUS all the work needed to fix the house to sell PLUS paying the realtor. so basically you made nothing and struggled for nothing. He is military, if we had stayed in the military housing we could have saved 60k guaranteed by the time we leave this location if he stuck to my plan but he refused. He wanted a CHANCE at 100k.....hes always buying stuff instead of trying to redirect money into paying off debt. Like if he gets a raise, he will take on a NEW payment for something instead of applying it to current debt to get out of the hole. Within two weeks now I have discovered 2 high priced items he purchased without consulting me, a fucking smart oven for 800 and now some fancy headphones for 200. He hid the headphones under his car and I just happened to see them just now. I'm sick of his shit. Sick of being calm and I want a fucking divorce. I want to be with him but I dont want to be legally bound to him. but he said if we divorce then we wont be together. I'm tired of struggling and letting my almost 800 credit score go to hell because of his bullshit. I just want peace. if you want to do what you want then dont be married. Idk what to do. I'm sick of him.