(TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of EDs-stay safe everyone)

i’m 14, 5’3” and currently 97lbs. i’ve struggled with bulimia, bingeing and restricting my diet for years. my brother and sister also have bingeing disorders, so from about fifth grade i decided not to be like them and instead stopped eating in an effort to stay “healthy.” i didn’t know what bulimia or anorexia were until i was hospitalized in november, and since then everyone around me has been trying to get me to eat. i don’t want to disappoint or scare the people who love me so i’ve started eating again without purging. i know that if i start restricting again i could be hospitalized all over again and possibly die in a few years because of it, so so far i’ve stuck with a healthy eating routine.

the issue is, i can’t stand the body i have because i’ve started gaining weight around my stomach and face. i’m really unhappy with how i look but i cant continue starving. i’ve worn the same hoodie for two weeks straight because i don’t feel comfortable looking at the body i have. i miss liking my outfits and myself and i miss not being so stressed over basic needs.

i need help. please comment advice🥺💘thank you <33