So over the course of the past year my body is just a whirl wind. I haven’t talked to a doctor but I’m 99% sure I have severe depression and high problematic anxiety. This has caused me to crawl into a giant shell! I had lost my job last July. And my anxiety has gone from okay I can deal to a constant weight on my chest. I’m sad. I’m sad to the point I question is it worth it anymore? I’ve given up on myself. And every time I would go to stand back up I’d be kicked down twice as hard. I lost my father when I was 11. I walked in to see him dead on the floor, traumatic. My mother is getting older and I worry about her all the time. She’s all I have.

I try to explain to my spouse what’s going on in my head and why I cry, why I feel the way I do. But he doesn’t understand or thinks it’s him. All this anxiety and depression has caused me to fear to be in the world. I’m scared to go to work or find a job. I’m scared to live.

Sometimes I need to talk.. and nobody is there. Please check on your friends.