I don’t want kids of my own. I’m 23 and no kids my fiancé is 27. They refuse to allow me to get a tubal. If I get pregnant I have to go off of my bi polar medication which leads to suicidal thoughts. We already had a scare and you guessed it I became suicidal and started researching DIY abortions. Yes my mind gets away from me and I get obsessive and freak out it’s just part of me and my mental health issues. I’m getting an IUD next month as well as attempting to get my fiancé a vasectomy which is proving hard as no doctors will do the procedure on him due to him not having kids. (He is completely willing to get a vasectomy.)

Would it be wrong for me to tell my OB/GYN the truth about me becoming suicidal and that I’ll probably try to kill myself if I do wind up pregnant? I just want her to know the truth and that I’m not going to be safe if I find out I’m pregnant. I’m terrified the IUD might fail and I’ll have an unwanted baby. I’m medicated and happy right now I don’t want to be suicidal or in the hospital again. I just don’t know what to do or how to get someone to listen to me that I really don’t want to get pregnant. I don’t understand why everyone just says give the kid up for adoption and then thinks that’s the perfect answer. It’s not because I first have to make it through the pregnancy which is highly unlikely off of my meds!

Edited to answer questions: the IUD is my only birth control option. We have yet to find a condom I’m not allergic to even lamb skin. And I’m on an anti seizure med that lowers levels of any other hormonal birth control. And my neuro won’t switch my meds based on the fact that it “could” lower my levels. He’s willing to risk me getting pregnant over switching my meds sadly. So if the IUD for some reason doesn’t work such as causing pain or excessive bleeding I’m out of options. I’m currently on nuvaring in the meantime as well as using spermicide and pull out (due to the condom issue.) but avoiding sex mostly which my fiancé hates. However I confirmed ovulation this month even on nuvaring for 3 months. I’m just fed up with doctors at this point. And yes there are rules the doctors follow here most wont do a tubal until you’ve had a least one kid of either sex meaning you could have 4 girls and they’d still say no because you don’t have a boy. I’m just hoping beyond hope the IUD sits well with me because it’s my only option or that it migrates and causes me to need a hysterectomy honestly I’d be ok with that. Cause then it’s medically necessary and they won’t fight me.