Hard past couple of months

So for the past 8-10 months have been so ridiculously hard and I’ve had many traumatic experiences within this time frame. From my health, to abuse, to violated. I feel fed up, like I don’t wanna participate in my life anymore. I talk really mean to myself in my head and I don’t know how to stop. I feel as tho I’m not worth it. Every time I try to move forward something is always blocking me. Idk why I’m writing this. I think I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening I guess...🤷🏽‍♀️