To the girl who wrote "Finally getting out, but not telling him."
I wanted to reach out to u, but your post was removed before I could type all this. I just needed u to read this and know im here for u.
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I am a survivor myself. 12 years. So I understand exactly what u are going through. And damn yes it is so very hard. Our situations are very similar, except I raised 4 of his kids, 3 from birth. Yea, he got her pregnant 4 times, 1 m/c. I also left with barely 400 something credit score, over 30k in debt, no car, drivers license or ID, ss card, birth certificate. He actually peed on my important paperwork smh. I was 2 months away from externship and 3 months from graduation in medical assisting, he sabotaged my car, and i got failed for absences for all the times he left a mark on my face so i stayed home, or bc he wouldn't drive me bc I was only going to school to hang out with (enter random guys names here). He turned everyone against me, and by the time i was ready to leave, i had NO ONE. And nothing. I only had a job bc he was too lazy work most of the time. I wouldn't have sex with him one night bc my kidneys hurt pretty bad. so we fought. He raped me n went to bed. I woke up for wrk in the morning, we're still fighting bc "you can't fuck me but u can go to work?" He locked me in the laundry room. Most of the time he was in there with me, screaming at me, choking me, punching me, pinning me to the ground then kicking me. I finally convinced him to let me work. I went to was 6.5 hours late. I ended up collapsing throughout the rest of my shift. A customer drove me to the hospital when we closed at 9pm. I got discharged at 130 am, my ex wouldn't come get me from the hospital bc apparently i wasn't there, i was with some dude. At 230pm, my foster dad who lived 3 hours away, picked me up and took me home with him. And i havent went back since. Now look, i know how hard this journey is for u, i know not seeing his daughter again is gonna kill u, i know it seems like ur giving up on a change that COULD happen. U think after all this, he does love u in some way. All the dreams and hopes u had for your future with him. I KNOW it sucks. Bad. But u have to let go. U have to. All those things u wanted with him, all those feelings u feel u are leaving behind, all the good times and love. U can and will find that again. Everything you have with him can be replaced. Your heart can love again. That man does not love u. He loves that he has that power over u. He loves knowing no matter what he does, u will be there. And as hard as it may be right now, and in the future, it will definitely be worth it in the end. I know its hard to see it now, but u have no idea how clouded your vision is. U just have to stay strong, don't turn back this time. I know ur scared, i know missing him and being lonely is gonna be tough. It is tough. I probably left my ex 100+ times over our 12 years. I always went back. I always thought I could fix it. I always thought he loved me, i believed his sorrys, his promises to change. He was only changed long enough to win me back. Next month will be 5 years that I left him with nothing but the clothes I had on, and surprisingly a cell phone (1st one in 4 years bc he'd break mine). 5 years I've been out, and it still took me 2 years to completely let go of him after I left. I can't even lie that shit was rough. Especially not seeing his kids. He told them I didnt love them and left bc I wanted a new family. That shit was so hard. I stayed away. I stayed silent. I ignored him. I told myself those little girls will be ok, just tough it out until they're old enough to get a hold of me, and I can show them myself why I disappeared. I have all his messages. They will understand. And as bad as it hurt, i let go. I now have 2 vehicles, a driver's license, a place of my own, still about 13k in debt, but not 30 lol. And his kids? Turns out their mom and I are really good friends now, and I can see them whenever I want. I have a wonderful fiance who has 2 kids himself, all the kids love eachother and refer to eachother as siblings. It was rough getting here, but I PROMISE u, everything works out in the end. U just have to stick it out until u get there. Just remember the bottom line whenever u feel like u may go back and u need to ground yourself. Remember that how he treats u is not right, and leaving is the best thing for u. Just think about it, if u can love the wrong man that much, imagine how much ur can love the right one. Sorry this is so long, but this is a subject that really hits home for me. So making it out and succeeding really makes me advocate for anyone I see in that same dark place I was in for so long. I have so much advice and so many stories. If u ever want to chat jusy hmu. And always remember, no matter how tough or trying things get, it will all fall into place. Everything u are going through is preparing u for where your headed. Don't look back.
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.