Soooo depressed

So i thought that my hcg would be gone by now. Guess im one of them that takes a while for it to go away. My hormones are all over the place. I feel so bad for my poor boyfriend. Hes been nothing but great and supportive. But I've been nothing but a mess. I got my hcg checked last week cause I thought i might have been pregnant before my first period which came back at 138.6 and was told it could go either way. But i just got back the result from this week and is went down to 89. So im bummed. I should have known better to get my hopes up but its hard when i just want another baby to hold in my arms. I just want my numbers down to 0 so we can start trying again. 😞