do you?

i believe that some people aren’t meant to live. i don’t think suicide is necessarily bad. or death in general.

i genuinely believe that i’m not meant for the world. i’m not meant for life. i can feel it through my whole body that my end isn’t too far.

i’m turning 20 in a little over a week. i’ve been suicidal off and on since i was 14. but definitely more frequently 18-19. i don’t know. lately for the past 2-3 months death has been more of a peaceful thought. like when i used to want to die it was always sad and more of an escape kind of thing. but now when i think about it, it’s a calm thought as if serene. like it just feels right. because it’s not stemming from sadness.

this poem..poet as a whole makes me feel very seen, heard, and understood.

anytime someone says they want to die everyone jumps and says “nooo you have a purpose. just keep going.” blah blah but it’s nice to find someone who understands it’s not always a bad thing. sometimes i wish i had someone to talk to about dying where they just listened and understood instead of telling me it’s not a good thought.