My boyfriend and I have been together for going on five years now. Everything has been great, including in the bedroom up until recently....

When I was a teen, I never rubbed the bean because I didn’t really know how and whenever I tried, it never felt good. I finally achieve a solo orgasm once I started my twenties. Before this, I rarely orgasmed during sex and I’ve had several partners and my current is the only one who has made me have the big O but this doesn’t happen as often as I’d like. The fact I count how many times he’s made me orgasm is a little disappointing. I believed for the longest time that it was unlikely for me to achieve orgasm due to some trauma I have but after playing around with some toys, I’ve discovered that’s not the case. I’m constantly going at it atleast once a day now but I was doing it several times when I found this new holy land. Which this is great and all but here’s where the problem lies.

I tried to ask the boyfriend about introducing some new things to our sex life. He doesn’t really listen. He doesn’t pre heat the oven or anything, he just shoves his bread in and it doesn’t feel as intimate as it should. I feel like it’s like having sex with a stranger whose never really had sex before. I’ve tried to tell him things that I like and he acknowledges it but doesn’t do it during sex. It’s boiled down to being the same routine as always and it’s a routine I didn’t enjoy much to begin with. I’ve tried to take it slow and make the intimacy moves on him but he doesn’t like it to much. I’ve tried to introduce sex toys as a last resort because at least I’d get off and he gets upset and feels inferior compared to the toys. I try to tell him that it’s just a personal preference and it’s nothing about his performance really because sometimes I just like using toys. Not to mention I could try to enjoy the moments more and take more control of the sex but whenever I do, he’s always asking or rushing me to orgasm and it puts immense pressure on me. I’ve tried telling him on several occasions to stop that it doesn’t help and he doesn’t listen which is another reason I want to bring in toys. I feel like I can’t pull out any toys during sec with out him being upset. I really don’t know what to do and I do care about him a lot. Outside of sex he’s fantastic and I wouldn’t leave him because of the poor sex. I just want it to improve and I’ve thought of every way to approach it and nothing works because he’s unwilling to cooperate. I don’t know how many times I’ve cried after sex because of him being upset that I didn’t get off when he doesn’t do what feels amazing to me. Maybe you guys have some advise on this situation and I’d love for some feedback and help.