Sad musings of a soon to be divorcee

Dad always said whatever drama was around was my my fault;

Mom's beating me again? Must have been something I did.

My siblings were acting up? I should have been more help.

The house is a wreck? Why wasn't I doing more to keep it up?

I got married and cut them off but that stayed with me. I have really high, probably unreasonable expectations of myself and I burned myself out by overworking within 5 years.

I constantly worried my husband didn't think I was doing enough, or doing anything right. I overthink what people I care about think of me.

Now we're getting divorced and he thinks I'm crazy because of the emotional rollercoaster I'm on. I swear im trying to flatten it out, but it's hard.

I'm trying so hard to stay positive and not let this sadness take over.

I need to be present for our daughter. She deserves a mom who is aware and active. She deserves a mom who is present and supportive.

I'm so sad and alone with no family and no friends, but I'm trying really hard.