I have been struggling to go outside because I been emotionally exhausted and find myself sleepy all the time. So I end up going to sleep rather than go out with friends. Sometimes I feel like my emotions are eating me alive. My friends would hit me up to go out their treat because they know I just graduated from college and I’m broke with student loans up the ass. I’ve been looking for jobs but I’m getting rejected non-stop. Plus I’m living in a city that I don’t want to be in anymore with my mother.

I’ve been taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. My cousin has hit me to do brunch again

and I have agreed for the second time. But he has stood me up for the second time. I don’t think that he knows how big of a deal it would be if he actually showed up. So I’m going to try and push myself out of emotions to get out of this gloomy place. I might just get my nails done or go out to get coffee. Baby steps I guess but it’s easier said than done. I think I really wanted to see him because it has been a long time and my soul just needed to be around family to get me out of this funky mental space.

But who knows ?🤷🏽‍♀️at least I don’t have insomnia anymore and can rest?!🤔