Hey ladies, I know alot of you wont understand where I'm coming from but I just need to get my thoughts straight.when I was 12 I began talking to this guy and it became sexual very quickly . I never had sex with him but everything about our relationship was sexual. I do believe at the beginning he did like me but I think it ended very quickly. I on the other hand was stuck on him for 2 and a half years thinking he was the love of my life. He cheated on me, constantly had other girls he was talking to but I wasnt allowed to talk to any other guys and honestly for the longest time I only talked to him because I was stupid. He was very manipulative and would make anything that happend my fault. But one day I went over to his house and he brought me into his bed room and we were sitting on the floor of course doing sexual things I ended up under his bed and for some reason he thought I wanted him to get me because shoved his fingers up me and wouldn't let me move my legs I scratched his arms, pinched him, and told him to stop but he wouldn't he left bruises on my legs and afterwards I went to the bathroom and was bleeding. When I got home that day and he had synced all of our stuff together so he could know everything I was doing . Well he stupidly never deleted messages from girls and nudes from his ex. So I took a picture of my self and vowed I would never put my self through that again and everytime I come across that picture even though I'm smiling I can see the pain in my eyes. After that I never seen him personally but we texted and facetimed sexually. I texted with him till august when I met my now husband and ended it with my ex. My husband and I have been together now for 8 years and have been trying to get pregnant for going on 3 years. Well my ex just popped up on my facebook and he has a 1 year old child. It sounds silly but it completely bothers me. First off cause I know whoever he got pregnant he was just messing around with, second of all because my husband and I have been trying so long and he has a kid . And third of all because of our history I found out he was sexually abused by his dad and I worry for that child. I know alot of you may think I still have feelings for him but for me I dont know if you would call it feelings. I get sick to my stomach and can barely breathe i dont find him attractive but if i were to see him on the street i would pass the fuck out. Idk has anyone ever felt like this? Is it normal? Do I need therapy? My husband and I are best friends and I would never want to change that for my ex but I need help ladies .......