Does anybody feel like they just want to be one and done?

Question

When my husband and I got together (10 years ago) he wanted a large family. Like 8 kids. I wanted 3. As time has gone on he has wanted less and less. The more we struggled with infertility the less he wanted until it was down to one or none with the option of adoption. I have always wanted three, even after all our heartache. It has been the biggest miracle getting pregnant. My first trimester Everytime I would vomit I would be thankful. We thought we lost him at 6 weeks. But we didn't. Thank God!
 Within the first trimester I decided I just wanted two and done. I can't explain it. I just changed my mind and feelings about getting pregnant three times. 
By the middle of the second trimester I decided I am down to this one and done. Third trimester and I feel adamantly about it. As much as I love him and can't wait to hold him and be his mommy I still feel this way. I feel like he will be our whole world. I feel bad we won't be giving him a sibling but at the same time I didn't think I would handle being pregnant this badly.  Always fearful something is wrong and having to convince myself he is fine and I'm not going to have another miscarriage. Feeling so tired but having to work. Whole body aching, swollen feet and hands that go completely numb. Stressing over how we are going to handle maternity leave. I'm so thankful for him- we have prayed for for years and years. He is our miracle rainbow baby and we already love him! I can't express that part enough. I just don't feel like I ever want to do this for another human again. Am I the only one who feels like this? One and done?

Answer

I never thought I could do 3 and well, here I am. We don’t struggle with fertility so I can’t speak to the hardships that must weight on your journey, but just know your feelings may change in time. Right now, you’re hormonal and the unknown is scary....but once you have the one, you may change your mind again to try for more. Keep an open mind & don’t stress about it now. Start with one & later on take a moment to really feel it your family is complete. After my 2nd, hardest toddler EVER, I took a needed break & thought I couldn’t do another, but I didn’t feel we were complete yet. I contemplated, and 33 weeks later #3 is about ready to join us ❤️ do what’s right for you and your family when the time has calmed down. Best!

Answer

This is me all the way w my husband!!! We wanted a large family but as time went on w infertility and years going by. It just seemed to be the answer. One and done 
With like a BUTT LOAD OF MALTESE DOGS!!!💜💜🤞💜

Answer

I always imagined  Myself with 3 or 4 kids. My husband always wanted 1 or 2. I definitely know now how hard it is to provide for even just one child. Not just provide the basic food and clothes but to provide education, socialization, learning everything in between. I came  from a family were we barely had enough clothes and never mind if they fit or not.  So I've always wanted to not only provide for my kids but over provide.
 We are on our 2nd most likely our last. If there is an oopsie then I will definitely get my tubes after that one. Hubby is planning to get fixed after a month or two after this one or so.  Let's not even mention how much I cannot stand being pregnant. I'm very healthy just very uncomfortable.

Answer

I never really wanted kids until I was around 37. Now at 38, I'm expecting my little girlie and that'll most likely be it. I like the thought of traveling with her and giving her lots opportunities that would be harder to do with multiple kids.

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I’ve ALWAYS wanted 2 kids very close in age but with how many complications I’ve had in this pregnancy I’m really considering just having 1

Answer

I was stuck between 1 or 3. I’m having #3. Assess your feelings after the first 6 months of birth. The time from now until then is a rollercoaster ride but when things begin to settle you will know for sure how you feel. 
On another note, my husband and I are only children. I absolutely loved being an only child. You dedicate all your resources on that one child and research has shown that only children tend to have better education outcomes than those with siblings. The education outcomes decreases for each sibling afterwards which makes sense since money/time is now spread over more people. If you keep that in mind you can def overcome that. 
On the other hand know your child, I knew by the time my first was one she wouldn’t make a good only child. She’s pretty self involved. Now that she’s almost my 3 my husband 100% agrees. Now if my 2nd child came first, we would be one and done.

Answer

I have had these thoughts to. I’ve always wanted at least 4 like the family I came from. Now that I’m pregnant with my first I’ve had second thoughts. Granted I’ve not been completely enjoying being pregnant because Ive had some pretty bad anxiety/panic attacks, mental health issues the whole time which haven’t made this experience the most fun. So I’ve been telling myself this may be it for me cus idk if I could go through this again. It’s all up in the air at this point and I’ll just have to wait and see how things go in the next couple of years. Every pregnancy is different so the next one might be smooth sailing. 
Maybe don’t count it out that you wouldn’t have another even with how you feel now. But if you don’t have another that’s also your right to chose that if you feel it’s best for you and your family.

Answer

Agree with the post below. Right now you’re going through a lot and while you’ll always remember the pregnancy being a lot- that sweet baby might need a buddy to play with. I know my husband and I thought about being done after our 1st bc we felt fulfilled but then after a 4 mile hike to the beach one day, he asked us (at 2 years old) which one of us would come play with him. Lol we looked at each other just exhausted and realized he needs a friend his size. We are now pregnant with our 3rd and thinking about maybe another in a few years! Your family will be perfect no matter what you choose but that was the turning point for us 🤗

Answer

I didn’t have any fertility problems so no advice on that. But once my son was almost 1, my husband and I kind of decided that maybe one and done was a good idea for us. We just felt comfortable with just the 3 of us. BUT I found out I was pregnant again pretty soon after that....to which I couldn’t imagine not having this baby. 
Basically I’m saying is that as fast as your feelings changed from 3 kids, to 2 kids, to being one.. is as fast as it can change back to wanting 3 kids. Plus your hormones are just high right now too. 🙂 you don’t have to have a definite answer to how many kids you want right now. You’re feelings can always change at any time and that’s perfectly fine.

Does anybody feel like they just want to be one and done?

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