What would you think if a woman was complaining about her boyfriend to your husband?

Question

I saw a post on Facebook a few days ago that said something along the lines of "If she's complaining about you to another man, then she's not yours anymore." Then a friend comes to me today and tells me that some woman at her husband's work is complaining to him about her boyfriend. Obviously I didn't bring up the post I saw because I know him well enough to know that even if the woman has bad intentions that he won't give into it. I'm just curious about what you all think of it. Do you think she has bad intentions? From what I've seen personally, a woman complains to another man about her man to make the other man feel bad for her and want to "save her" from her "bad relationship". 🤔 But that doesn't mean it's always that way, right?

Answer

Someone at my husband's work did this. She started to get to close. I told her straight my husband is not her therapist.

Answer

Definitely not true. I'm sure some people may have that intention when complaining but that is not always the case. Some times it is just nice to have a friend to talk to about your problems and frustrations and some times that friend might be a guy. It doesn't mean she is after him and no one should jump to that conclusion. Unless she gives her a reason to suspect otherwise than she shouldn't assume she is out to get he man or wanting to cheat on hers.

Answer

That’s because some husbands are good at making other woman comfortable enough to talk to them... that’s how emotional relationships start which I think is  the worst form of cheating...

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I used to talk to close guy friends to get a male perspective. I don’t anymore because now me and my boyfriend are serious and we work things out together. But in the beginning it was nice to have someone that was actually a dude telling me how guys think or whatever.

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I only ever discussed my relationship early on with a male co-worker because he was a Godly man and had great perspective. But it was never complaining about my relationship.
And for my husband he doesn't even wanna hear me complain 😂 so he won't listen to another woman do it. He'll just say sorry, those aren't my problems and go on

Answer

Well, yeah... that’s usually a woman checking out of a relationship and she may or may not have an interest in your friends husband. When it comes to relationship troubles there are rules about who you should talk to. A) the person should be supportive of your relationship B) it should be someone who has good advice or life experience you can respect (has healthy relationships) C) it shouldn’t be someone you are attracted to or vice versa D) while it’s better to not be opposite gendered, exceptions can be made it some circumstances. As long as all the previous boxes are checked. 
   For example I have a good male friend who is someone that I discuss relationship stuff with, he helps me, I help him. He’s married and has been for 15 years. I’m friends with him and his wife. They come to our kids bday parties even (so our friendship involves our respective partners and family). He’s also significantly older than I am. Like 28 years older. I’m not attracted to him in anyway, and our relationship is more familial than anything. He just helps with the male perspective at times, and has personal understanding of some of our struggles because he’s been there. I help him with the female perspective and try to give him tips on how to understand his wife’s feelings better, and things he can do to make her happier. She’s not great about just telling him what she wants from him. She’s kind of one of those “if you don’t know why I’m mad than I’m not going to tell you” types. I guess it means less to her if he does something because she asked vs because he “wants” to. Go figure 🤷‍♀️

Answer

I think it depends on the situation. I have a few close guy friends and sometimes when my hubby does something and it annoys me, I complain to my friends, but I have zero  intentions of leaving my husband nor do I feel anything towards my friends. They give me input from a guy perspective. We also work night shift, sooo chances are we are talking at night. 🤷‍♀️
HOWEVER. I do think some girls do try to get close to someone by complaining that their relationship is horrible, he abused her, it's toxic etc. To try and get a man. It is definitely shady, but the interactions and the way she talks/acts will tell you what her motives are.

Answer

In most cases, I agree with this. With my ex, he always had younger girls coming to him and texting him all hours of the night and it was always “she just needs to vent about her problems with her boyfriend” 
He did cheat on me a few times. And the relationship was very toxic. I never agreed with it because when I had problems I didn’t go to another man about them. Talked to my mom, grandma or a girlfriend. Since he would never talk about our problems. 
Fast forward. I left him and now am happily married to a amazing man! He has friends that are girls, that he has known since he was in elementary school. They never come to him when they are having trouble in their relationship. He also would never let a woman close enough to even make a move.

What would you think if a woman was complaining about her boyfriend to your husband?

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