I’m still in shock after a week of processing. I hadn’t got on birth control after having my son in May, for different reasons but I knew I needed to. Until then me and my husband have been avoiding sex while I’m ovulating and he has been using the pull out method. Well when my period was 5 days late I just had a feeling.... sure enough those 2 lines popped up pretty fast. I instantly broke down. My little baby boy that I’ve spent every day of his life with, clinging to ever moment I can get during these baby stages, trying to soak in this little boy being MY little baby, is growing up. And boy did that reality sink in when I realized this little guy is going to be a big brother. These moments go too fast. It’s heartbreaking. Then I felt guilt.. how can I split my time between a newborn and a toddler who will only know a life where he is the center of my world. Guilt that I was upset seeing those 2 lines when I couldn’t contain my excitement with my first. Wanting this pregnancy to go by slow so I can enjoy these 9 months with just me and my boy 💙 but the more I think about it, I do already love this little baby. Yes he/she is a HUGE surprise but how blessed am I that I get to experience this love again? God had a plan and I couldn’t stop his timing even if I wanted to. In November our world is going to change but I know things will be better because of it. Babies are a miracle.. just because this pregnancy is different doesn’t change the love I feel for both my babies. And this little guy with a sad expression in my picture, will be the best big brother. Please keep me in your prayers for a healthy pregnancy/baby and a smooth transition for my son to learn to share his Mommy ♥️♥️