You were great, for a high school crush. I still remember the butterflies I got in my stomach the first time I saw you. I was too shy to ask you out and by the time I wanted to try,,, you had a girlfriend. So I tried to seem as happy as I could just being your friend. Time past but my feeling didn’t. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE around us could see how head over heels I was for you and how stupid I was being. I hated her, your gf at the time. She hated me because she knew too.

I genuinely tried to suppress my feelings and just be friends but every time you smiled my heart would do a flip. It also didn’t help seeing how you would constantly be all over me- hugging me, cuddling me to keep warm, wrapping your arms around my waist from behind and just laying your chin on my shoulder, holding my hand, making sure I was ok at the littlest things, complimenting me all the time (DEAD ASS CALLING ME BEAUTIFUL) etc.... ya...

so I haven’t seen you since your dad’s funeral I think- our family helped yours as much as we could -and I think that was about two years ago. The last thing I remember you telling me was “wow, you look gorgeous. Just... wow that outfit looks amazing on you” then of course you went back to college and I graduated and left dance so we never really saw each other again.

Until today. Today... I was out doing a photo shoot with my sister because our mom always wants to take pictures of us haha so we’re all dolled up. After we’re done I’m in the back seat and I’m in a bad mood, not sure why but it was a headphones BLASTING kinda bad mood when all of a sudden the car stops and I look up to see a familiar face drive by, we proceed to stop a chat for a bit and of course you get out of the car and make direct eye contact, kinda looked me up and down and say hi with that dumb smirk that I stupidly fell for years ago and I felt myself slipping again.

It hurt. I thought I was done with that chapter of my life but it turns out I had dog eared the page and went back to it. So that’s fun. Now I can’t stop thinking about you and I hate it. I hate how I’m still not over you after 7 almost 8 years. It’s not fair.

PS — my entire outfit consists of clothes my mom wore in the 90s 😄

Edit!!!!

So uhhh I now have a girlfriend and we’ve been dating for 5 months and I love her a lot. I’m happy I had this guy in my life, I learned a lot myself because of him but I’m past that. I’m so much happier and healthier than I was in high school and she’s a huge part of it💕💕💕

UPDATE— ok so nothing happened with him, haven’t seen him since this actually, but now!! I have a girlfriend and she’s super sweet and amazing and I’ve never been happier!