Hi everyone,

Any advice would be appreciated! ❤️

I am having one of those days where everything is just so wrong. So a few days ago all my family declined the invitation to my baby shower and I thought ahh well maybe they’re busy that day or something. Call me naive but I always give people the benefit of the doubt because you never know what’s really going on in people’s life. Plus this is my second baby (opposite gender) so I thought maybe they think it’s weird? Idk but I didn’t take it personally. Anyway my dad FaceTimes me today to tell me everyone is not going because they feel disconnected with me. (I live about a 6 hour drive from my family but the shower is in their hometown hosted by my mom) So at first I said okay that’s fair until he started talking about why they feel disconnected. So I mentioned I live a long drive away however I make it a priority to visit my family on Christmas, for weddings and one summer visit because I do enjoying seeing them and do make the effort to see them. It costs about $250 in gas round trip (we live in Canada and drive a SUV) so it requires Financial planning but we don’t mind as it is important to us to see family. ANYWAYS my aunts complained that last Christmas I left the party for a few minutes (I had terrible morning sickness in my first trimester that I lost 10 lbs so I needed a breather away from a bunch of crazy Italians haha) my aunt who hosted the party said they gave my daughter a gift and I didn’t say thank you (I totally did as I specifically remember we were sitting on the couch and she came over to give my 2 year old a gift and I said “what do we say? We say thank you!” I’m very adamant on teaching my daughter manners) and lastly that I left without saying bye. (Also not true, I remember giving my nonna and Nonno a kiss and saying bye then turning to everyone else and saying bye.) so apparently all my aunts have been gossiping about it since Christmas and decided that I’m unappreciative and that I should be around more etc. Mind you I am married, pregnant and have a toddler living 6 hours away.... soo... there’s that. And I asked my dad why he didn’t stick up for me when my aunts where gossiping to him about this and he said well.. I feel a disconnect too. My dad and I have a great relationship or so I thought. So I asked him how do you feel like that? When ever I visit, I’m stay up all hours of the night talking with you, I never show up empty handed and bring dessert or something to show my appreciation etc.. and he goes “well on Father’s Day when I was visiting you, you didn’t give me a card and you didn’t have coffee...” he has been harbouring this for like almost a year now apparently. A week before Father’s Day I had a surgery I was healing from that... they have to pump gas into you to expand your stomach and it hurts like a biotch until the gas eventually escapes/evaporates from your body. Like it really hurts your shoulders and on top of that I was in my overdraft at the time and simply could not afford to buy a card and he knew that! I did however make a nice post about my dad saying nice things and my husband and I had a BBQ in his honour. But apparently this one occasion was enough to make my dad feel like I didn’t appreciate him.

Guys, I am an empath. I would never want to intentionally make anyone feel like I don’t appreciate them and I feel like my dad out of all people should know that. I feel offended sad and heart broken over all this because nobody gave me the benefit of the doubt. Nobody talked to me about how they felt otherwise I could of explained myself or tried to rectify the situation. In turn, I actually feel like I’m under-appreciated. ☹️ it’s not about the shower, I wouldn’t want people there that don’t want to be there but the fact they all transpired behind my back over something that didn’t even happen makes me sad. One of my aunts came to visit near where I lived and didn’t ask if I was free to see them and I didn’t automatically jump to “oh she doesn’t care about me” I just thought they’re probably busy.

I’ve been crying all day, having anxiety attacks and just feel so depressed about all this.

What would you do?