Has anyone really struggled to leave their serious relationship?

I feel unhappy in my relationship. We’re incompatible in so many ways, he gets verbally abusive a lot, and I just am not in love with him.

We’ve lived together for 3 years. I tried to leave last year and stayed at my parents house for 2 months but I missed having my own place (can’t afford that by myself right now) and I missed the location, and it was hard driving an hour to work and an hour back all the time I wasted so much money in gas. And my work would literally suffer so much if I stop working there (it’s a small business and I’m the only one who does the main job there) so I’d get guilty about that as well but I did look for a job closer to my parents house but had no luck. I also kept getting messages from his and my mutual friend saying my bf was depressed because I left.

It was so hard. So I went back. But I still feel like I’m settling. He is loyal and I know he’d never cheat on me and he wants to get married/have kids with me so I feel like I found a gem in that aspect but in other ways I am just not happy most of the time. I’m constantly conflicted in my head. If I leave and end up giving in and come back again his trust issues with me would escalate.

Any advice?