Confused

My ex is still in my life and we haven’t fully cut each other off. Occasionally he hits me during an argument depending on how mad he is. It’s very unreal to me that I’ve actually been experiencing domestic violence. I think I’ve dumbed it down because it’s not as extreme as other stories I’ve heard. But I know it’s not okay on any level. He’s slapped me, choked me, knocked a drink out of my hand which caused it to spill all over me, broken my phone before and kicked dents into my car. I remember every time he’s became physical during an argument. I’ve never told anyone about the physical abuse because I still love him and I don’t want my family and friends to hate him. I just want him to get help so he can learn how to control his anger so we can have a healthy relationship. I’m starting to question how can he say he loves me, treat me amazing and then physical hurt me during an argument???? All of this abuse usually happens if we’ve been drinking and have an argument.