So I’m an adult now I’m 19 and the memory’s never fade I suffer from ptsd and get flashbacks all the time I’ve never told anyone he sexually abused me I’m to afraid that people will think it’s disgusting and that any potential future bf or husband won’t want to be with me because of it I feel dirty and sometimes self harm because it frustrates me that it will never go away I told my family and they don’t belive me they said if it did happen that it’s in the past I don’t speak to any of them anymore my mam knew what happend and she let him abuse me still now I’m older when I confront her about it she Denys it and says I’m jealous of my brother because I got taken into care and he was to old to so he didn’t he tried to drown me in the bath as a child he beat me black and blue the beatings started when I was 3 and the sexual abuse started when I was 5 I told my dad when he was alive and he slapped me and told me to never speak about it again am I disgusting what do I do why didn’t my family protect me or love me