I stopped trying!!

Annie • 23 years old. Diagnosed with PCOS & hypothyroidism. Married for 5 years. Ellie Rose 💕👶🏼 & Millie Jean 💕🤰🏼
Hello ladies! After much thought and prayer I've decided to do the unthinkable-- stop trying! 😱 
As soon as I made that tough decision I had the most unreal sense of peace for at least a week. But I must admit that it has wavered and now I'm back to seeing kids and babies in public and on social media and feeling depressed because I'm missing out. Idk if that's just me or if other ladies feel like that. 😕
It was really an amazing feeling to just "give up" so to speak. Amazing and comical. I was all "Yeah, I can do this! I'm so independent, I can go on a spontaneous road trip if I want! Man, living a life with my husband and no kids is so much better." 😂
Then I see that precious baby, or my kids in Sunday School wrap their tiny arms around me and say they love me, or my friends post adorable Halloween costumes of their humongous families. 😒
I'm still 100% on board with not trying. I think it works for me. Just leaving it in God's hands and trusting that He'll let it happen when it's supposed to happen. Or when I'm 21 I can finally adopt and have my own precious family. (Side note: November is National Adoption Month!) 
I may be venting but I'm also wondering if anyone else has experienced this rebound effect of feeling okay and feeling hopeless again.