Hi Mamas,

Not sure why I am posting here, just need somewhere to say how I feel as I don’t have anyone to talk to. No family or friends.

I am married & we have 3 yr old & 8 month old.

We are Indian.

I feel useless as a wife - my husband cooks fresh meals everyday for us all. he said he would as I am always with the baby as she is super clingy and fusses if I move away. I feel like I should do this. I am nowhere near as good as my husband. my cooking is not the best. I do make some things here and there. Feel like I can’t cook meals for my kids as his food tastes better and my kids will be disappointed with what I make. In Indian households cooking a few dishes day in day out is important for them however for me I have always worked and snacked on things so this is not what I am used to nor was I raised by my Indian family during most of my childhood.

Being a mum has been frustrating second time round - I have mastered breastfeeding however the beginning was rough but now it’s fine. My baby is clingy constantly wants me will not settle unless I am there next to her. At night she sleeps with me - unsettled most nights. Can be pretty exhausting. Haven’t got the patience with my three year old and can be snappy or I just choose to stay quiet. My husband will give me a break from baby when I need it. He is so good with the kids teaches them how to be and so encouraging puts me to shame.

I just feel useless - the only thing I can do is breastfeed my baby other than that I contribute nothing. I miss spending time with my eldest child things have changed this time. Feel like if I wasn’t here it would be better for them.

I return to work full time in three months maybe things will change I don’t know. All I know is everyday I wake up feeling like a failure.

Feel guilty for feeling this way, as people are going through some terrible things with current situation in the world.

I suspect I have PPD however I don’t want to seek medical help as it is useless here in the UK so this would not be an option I would look into. I’m just hoping things will change when I go back to work.

For anyone who has read this thank you for doing so, sorry for such a boring post I just don’t know where to say how I feel.