I don’t want to give the entire history, bc it’s a lot. We’re mid 20s known eachother for over 12 years. Dated 5 years ago, ended tragically (not really) started again two years ago, and I’m at the point where I don’t know if I’m happy anymore. We have a 10 mo together. But his communication skills are TRASH. If he’s upset about something, I won’t know til it’s died down and doesn’t matter to me. If I want to have a conversation about something, I’m confrontational, not not negative, but I speak on ANYthing cause I don’t like gray areas. In 2018 when I was pregnant we had our first argument (bc he was drunk and didn’t understand he was acting like a douche) it escalated and I put him out. That same night, he went and slept with another girl, and I didn’t find out til 2019. We’ve been trying to work on us, but of course I still think about it. I’ve been nothing but loyal to this man, I took him out of a hell hole, kept him fed, helped him get a GOOD ASS JOB, which he lost bc he doesn’t think about what we need before what he wants. I was still on maternity leave and additional medical leave bc of a high risk pregnancy. We faced everything you could imagine, eviction and all. I’ve done what I could and FIXED everything like I always do. day to day, I’m not happy. It’s damn near April and we’ve only had sex twice, were not intimate or affectionate like we used to be. it’s little things around the house that he doesn’t do that bothers me ( make the fucking bed when you wake up) and now I feel like our relationship is a nuisance. When I bring that up to him he says he doesn’t know why and says that we’re gonna fix it and get better .. but I don’t have the energy. when he drinks, he gets slammed and can’t function. Like last night. which idc, do you, just don’t bother me. I wake up, asked for the remote, he’s so out of it he keeps half ass waking up cus he was drunk and rolls his eyes saying “I’m looking for it” when he’s just laying there, like I’m bothering him. So I spazz, cause he ALWAYS DOES THAT. stop treating me like I’m irking you’re nerves because YOURE DRUNK. idgaf. well now, I don’t feel the need to work on our relationship. Idc, I feel over it. The goal is marriage one day right? Well if he ever proposed I wouldn’t know how to say yes bc the day he cheated, I freaked out and called his mom and told her to send him a plane ticket cause I don’t want him here. She lives with his sister in another date. She literally texted him and said “your sister said propose to her” he replied he doesn’t have a ring, his mom responded with “we’ll send you one” am I crazy or don’t you believe that they think I’m naive and ima take him back bc if a proposal and that I’d be left to take care of him cause he has nowhere else to go? Or am I overreacting. when I said that to him months later, it’s Kinda like he brushed it off like “my mom was just suggesting it” NO BUDDY, WRONG TIMING. is this normal relationship blues or am I wasting my time? I really need someone to talk to rn. I even tried that whole “write down the good/bad of your relationship with one another and see what weighs out .. I haven’t done it but I KNOW it’s the bad for me, he hasn’t done it yet either.