Tension running high...

I am 38 weeks 4 days pregnant. The last 2-3 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster and full of physical discomforts. My 32nd Birthday was a few days ago. COVID- 19 has added one more stressor on top of everything else.

My husband has been zero emotional support and completely emotionally distance with me for pretty much my whole pregnancy. He says he loves me and thinks of me often but he shows zero efforts in helping with anything. He nags me about work and has shown no sympathy towards any of my emotional or physical discomforts.

The day after my Birthday, which was Tuesday, we did no celebrating, not even a home cooked meal or letting me pick a movie at home because we are on lockdown. Nothing ladies! He wanted to lie in bed and watch the same show we watch every night.

The next day, He slept in, I was up early, restless as usual. I cooked breakfast as usual. I asked for his help with some work stuff and he snapped at me telling me I should be able to do my job by now. We work together for his company. I took it in stride best I could. Then he rushed to get ready to go golfing. I asked if he would be gone all day. He said he’d be home by 6 or 7 ( He left at 11am). I asked him to drop 3 important letters in the mail for work on his way out. I don’t hear from him all day. He shows up at home at 8pm with his friend half drunk. They proceed to drink more till 10:30 pm. Where he approached me even more drunk trying to nibble at the leftovers I was eating while I was cleaning the kitchen. I seriously lost it and snatched my food away. He was like why are you so upset. Everything’s fine. I was going to ask you if you want to go out to eat with My friend And me. ( Mind you my Bday was the day before and all I wanted was Olive Garden! Been talking about it for weeks and he said we couldn’t go because of Coronavirus! So I was even more pissed now) I told him to go, go with out me in a pleasant way and I ran upstairs angry. I know not handling my emotions well.

So we have been on edge for 3 days with each other. Last night 2 of my beighbors stopped over while I was in the tub. I go downstairs at 9pm and there he is drunk with the two neighbors, who the wife is totally blitzed drunk. 😵 ... I am so over this BS. 🙄 I try to put on a face and chat for a while, in my robe mind you because he didn’t even think to tell me they were there... Her husband goes home. She stays and my husband continues to fill her glass and giver her shots and smoke cigarettes and she keeps asking me if I’ll ever be fun, you know once not pregnant. I try to keep it together here. Then her and my husband proceed to get high together. Mind you my husbands 2 kids are in the basement, 15 and 11, while all this is going on.

I was so angry. 2 days in a row my husband has helped with nothing around the house, dogs, my stepsons school work or anything and he has been drinking and high for 2 days.

Today! I am still angry. Haven’t slept in 4 nights, I mean like 5 hours a night, up until 12am and up at 5 or 6 am. I got up showered went to Waffle House day there for 2 hours, come home and we are like Eh with each other. We were up until 1 am fighting last night so we both know why we are pissed with each other.

So watching TV, HGTV, for a few hours we are relatively fine with each other. He’s trying to make it all out like it’s not a big deal. Me, I am upset hurt, just want to cry. He decides to tell the kids to go outside and he is going to the basement to go do yard work. He’s like you want to come talk to me in the basement for a while. I’m like no, I don’t feel good. I have been having bad cramps from all the stress and sleepless nights, nauseated, hungry, so many things, and just trying not to cry.

Then I go to the kitchen to make food and see this mess...

This is 1 day of me not doing dishes. Dishwasher is full and no one is starting it. All I want is food and can’t make food because the kitchen is a hot mess, worse then this photo is showing. So I am irritable about it and he’s like what is your problem. Why you so upset. Mind you we haven’t had dinner for 3 nights at this point. Last night his kids kept asked me what was for dinner and I was like ask your dad. If he has time to party for 2 days then he could consider making dinner.

Anyways we start fighting in the kitchen. It escalated and I’m like you couldn’t even mail 3 letters and get the mail for me. You did nothing on my Bday. Blah blah. He says I overreact, dishes don’t matter and I’m crazy and all this is my fualt and my moms fault because she is crazy and ruined our relationship... Hmm... last I checked she isn’t the reason your a drunk and stoner who can’t even check the mail box....or do dishes ever. He cooks and never cleans up after himself... literally Never for 5 years we been together.

So... fighting ensued and escalated... after 30 mins He can’t fight anymore and his life is over and he loses his temper and throws a glass in the sink and breaks my salt and pepper shakers...

And leaves broken glass all over the floor....

I ate and went upstairs to watch tv.

Like Seriously so over this....

If you read this far... Is this hormones that I hate my husband and everything he does poses me off?

Is it too much to ask that he stop smoking pot and drinking so much? I have been asking him for years to stop smoking pot and leaving it all around the house. He also had a bad habit of getting so drunk when we go to peoples house when we get home he throws up all night and has Teri le hangovers and then expects me to take care of him. 😵