Hey guys. I'm a 21 year old college student and I'm going through something right now. My dad has been abusive for as long as I can remember. It has been so bad that he's had a gun to my moms and my brothers head threatening to kill them. He use to hit my mom daily but doesn't as much anymore. He is extremely emotionally and verbally abusive. He tells us how much he hates us and wants us gone.

I recently bought a car and he lent me $2000 to buy it but I'm paying him back. I've already paid him $500 and will be paying another $1000 in a few weeks. Every time he gets mad at me he threatens me with my car saying that it's his and he will sell it (it's in my name) or he will destroy it.

When I was in high school he hit me one time. He was screaming in my mom's face and I told him to stop so he came and smacked me across my face. He never apologized. Today he got mad at me because I was putting my shoes on before going outside to do something that he wanted me to do. He started yelling at me so I yelled back. He told me that if I yelled at him again then he was going to beat me and take a charge.

I just don't know how to deal with this. I have nowhere to go and even if I did then I don't want to leave my mom. She can't leave because he will kill her. I am so afraid that one day he will kill her and I will have to live with it. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish that he would just leave. I have no control.

I just can't explain all of the terrible things that I have went through in my life because if this. My mom will never have a normal life because she is stuck with him. It makes me feel so sad for her. I pray all the time that God takes my dad before my mom. I really love my dad but I just can't understand why he does these things

Edit: we cannot leave or report him because he will find us and he will kill us. Restraining orders are just a piece of paper