SOMETIMES I WANT TO PUNCH MY FIANCÉ IN THE FACE

So I’ve been on a grain free, diary free, nut free, corn free diet bc we think our breastfed baby is allergic to something. I’m hungry a lot and my cravings are off the charts. I’ve been doing ok in terms with sticking to the diet but most recently (past 3 days) I’ve had one piece of toast, 3 corn tortillas, Chinese food, and some nitri grain bars (nutri grain bars were an emergency bc we had an outage). Also about 4 cans of Coke Zero spread out.

Well, we’re planning on a 5hr drive and I thought we needed snacks so I was looking to get slim Jim’s, Welch’s fruit snacks, and grain free chips. HE TOLD ME I NEED TO CHILL BC NONE OF THOSE ARE HEALTHY AND IM BEING SELFISH BC IM NOT THINKING ABOUT THE BABY.

Like motherfecker, none of those snacks have grains or shit but he still swears it’s unhealthy for the baby and that I’m thinking about myself.

I’m just super salty, hurt, guilt tripped, alone, grumpy bc I don’t know what to eat anymore. Sometimes I think about starving myself and die (not really, just intrusive thoughts). I was forced to eat fruits as a kid so I hateeeeee fruits to a point where I probably need therapy but his response was “learn to love it.” Omg I just want to cry and smack him but I just walked off before I didn’t anything stupid.

I just needed to vent bc Im a passionate foodie with insane cravings, corona virus locked in, I’ve been on my period since Jan 6th (bc of IUD and postpartum), so this silly craving thing is a big deal to me. Or maybe I’m in the wrong. I dunno anymore.l so if I am, please let me know so I can rethink. 🤷🏻‍♀️