So depressed, I can't stop peeing myself...

I just had my baby 5 days ago, 3rd degree tear. I have now peeded myself twice, I can not stop myself from urinating and I can not feel when I need to pee. I use to have incredible control..I tried doing kegels but I stopped because I'm not sure if I should do them while healing. What should I do? Will I ever get control back? This is incredibly depressing and embarrassing. My baby was screaming because he had a wet diaper and I couldn't run and grab him because I was in the middle of cleaning my mess up😰😭 this was my first and now I'm really questioning if he'll be my last😞