Lately I’ve been questioning my sexuality. Which there is a lot of factors that play in my confusion. And I could just be crazy in this sense. But who knows. I just need to vent about it. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. And our relationship has been all over since the beginning. I caught him talking to other women several times. Even my ex best friend. (She’s just not a friend anymore because she couldn’t forgive herself and would cause fights with me because I was still with him, even though I forgave both of them, not just him). And at times I don’t feel loved like I want to. Every man I’ve ever been with has never been loyal to me. I’m 19 and have had 2 serious relationships. I’ve had a lot of relationships but they were never serious because of how unloyal they were from the get go. The first serious one was my ex girlfriend. She was my first girlfriend ever. She was the only person who was loyal to me. And the second is my current relationship. We are barely sexual. I feel more like roommates than partners. Because he doesn’t love on me. We don’t have the connection we used to. And when I did try to have a conversation with him about this he didn’t wanna hear me out. He just kept saying that I was following the internet. But I’ve felt this way for awhile. Especially when I was the one paying for majority of our bills. Which is no longer the case because I made it very clear that he needed to do better. But what is making me question myself is.. I don’t feel that connection. And I’m not really sexually into it. I try to be sexual to bring our relationship together but he never wants to. But when we do have sex, it’s very boring to me and I don’t enjoy it. And lately I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about my ex girlfriend. Even cried when I found out she was with someone else lmao. Very pathetic on my part. I feel like I’m feeling this way because the only good relationship I’ve had was with a girl. And I just don’t like how I feel right now. I feel lost and lonely. Don’t get me wrong. I love my partner with everything I have. But I think the only reason I stay with him is because I don’t wanna lose him completely. Because I know I would. I just wanna be given the same type of love that I give out.