The title says it all. I hate myself for it. I hate that I'm still screwed up from it happening. I surely never thought I would do something like that. Therapy hasnt helped. I feel like I can barely even talk about it. I'm trying to get closure maybe? Take back some sort of control? I don't even know.

I'm sure I will get hate for this. I'm sure I will be told I'm childish and to grow up. I honestly never thought I would get to this point, doing something so idiotic but I'm truly looking for closure and to regain myself back.