This happened a couple years ago but obviously I have not forgotten about it.

I was with my boyfriend at the time and we were upstairs in his room and his parents were downstairs in the living room. He wanted to have sex but I was very uncomfortable as his parents were downstairs and the door had to be kept open. I said I don’t know I don’t think we should your parents are downstairs.

This is the part I’m not 100% on. I don’t think I explicitly said no? I did express how I was uncomfortable with it, but he told me to “get on the fucking ground.” So I laid facedown on the carpet because I was unfortunately the type of girlfriend that would do anything for this guy. Anything he wanted or asked for I gave it to him. But then he fucked me and I cried afterwards.

It took many months with my new boyfriend for me to be comfortable enough to do a position where I was on my stomach or my face was on the bed without full on panicking.

I wish I was strong enough to have refused my ex and said a harsh no or just leave his house but I wasn’t and this is where I don’t know what to classify it? Because it feels wrong inside but not like a gut wrenching ‘omg this is rape’ feeling if that makes sense?