I don’t feel emotions properly. When I’m happy my brain feels like it’s on fire, when I’m sad, I feel devastated, when I’m around people I feel terrified, and sometimes I don’t feel anything at all. I figured out this isn’t normal several years ago, but I can’t get help. Every time I tell someone how I feel they say I need help, and every time I try to get help from someone, I’m told I need to fix myself instead of relying on anyone. I can’t get any professional help, so am I just supposed to have shallow relationships where I hide my feelings and mental health for the next several years of my life???? Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me, so what do I do? Lock myself up with my deadly thoughts, where I might last a week? Hide them from the people I love and destroy my relationships? Continue leaning on others until they think I’m a burden? Possibly die trying to walk 50+ miles through the most dangerous cities in my state, while scaring the shit out of my loved ones when I mysteriously disappear, just to find a psych ward where I might not even be able to stay? Or should I just start a <1000 calorie diet (my mom’s answer for fixing “laziness”)?