I dont want to have sex with my Husband

I'm currently 8 weeks post partum with absolutely no sex drive. I'm not thinking about sex and I just dont want it. I've even tried to masturbate to see if I'd get aroused but nothing.

I've expressed that I dont want to get intimate just yet but he feels I'm being dramatic and that our sex life should just go back to how it was when we were teenagers. Yes I understand that we've had sex for 13yrs and to suddenly cut him off is unfair to a existent but he says "I like having sex with my wife it's my only source of penetration I just want to cum inside you" as he would say but to me he is being a douch bag. I love him still but I feel a lack of connection between us. We have 4 children together so yes we've been busy in the past so He had me questioning my decision so I gave in and let him have sex.

But it was the most uncomfortable situation. I was not into it I didnt want to be touched. It felt wrong but it was my husband so I didn't say anything. Literally I said nothing the entire time. Not a moan or even breathing heavy and its mostly because I couldn't feel his penis how I would usually,I mean I knew he was in me it took him some time to get in and once he did he was humping away like a jack rabbit it was pitiful.i could feel him hitting spots that would usually have me raining waterfalls but I just couldn't feel anything mentally.

We used a condom as to where we normally wouldnt and because I'm not on birth control and still breast feeding my chances of getting pregnant is higher. So after participating in sex that I didnt want and wasn't enjoying but continued to be engaged for him, he pulls the condom off 🤦‍♀️. I didn't know he did it but he claimed to have said he was taking it off when we switched positions but the only one making any type of sound was him and it was just the usual "oh yeah, Right there" type of deal. Now I know I'm being dramatic about this next part but I feel violated. We had unprotected sex on and off for 13yrs but in that moment I knew for a fact he didn't say anything to me and he took a risk of me falling pregnant again.

And with the world falling apart right now the doctors are up to their necks in real health care crisis so my birth control will be put on hold until I'm able to see the doctor for my 6 week visit which I still haven't and his vasectomy was rescheduled until further notice. And I know I can get a plan B but something in me is mad about ever needing to get one because I didn't want to have sex in the first place ugh!!!

Okay Rant over...