5 year anniversary

It’s mine and my fiancé’s 5 year today ... we’ve been through so much together and have broken up a lot here recently . Me and him have our three year old son together have lived with each other since we’ve known each other ... I feel like I’ve been the one pulling all the weight this whole time and idk if I can take much more :/ of course I’ve been here for him through thick and thick ... his mother and brother passing a couple years ago . He hasn’t had a job for a very long time ... on and off really hasn’t made any effort until now . He wants to do trucking but with everything going on he can’t start it quite yet ...I’m just tired of feeling unappreciated , and if I can’t love myself I can’t love him ... I just feel so lost and broken right now I just want time to myself ... alone ... idk how to explain that to him I feel like he won’t like that ... I know we are supposed to get married next month but I feel like it’s not a good time ... I feel unhappy . We live together . I don’t know how this is going to work ... idk how to tell him please if anybody can possibly give me any advice ...