My grandma is palliative, she's going to die in a few days. The nursing home says we can visit but my brother in law who is a nurse says its a bad idea.

My grandpa has been with her since the 1950s, who will hold his hand? Who will tell him it's okay?

This virus has ruined my family and our ability to grieve.

I'm an asshole because I asked the nursing home if there is anything we can do to see my grandma and say goodbye, they said they will isolate her, my brother in law thinks we will get infected and spread the virus, even though she isn't infected and is dying of dementia.

Update: unfortunately my grandmother passed away before my husband and I could say goodbye, and the home she was at had a staff member test positive for the virus after my grandfather and aunt visited. My grandfather is grateful he got to say goodbye and is isolating for 2 weeks, but I honestly don't think he cares what happens to him at this point.