I was molested/sexual assaulted and raped from age 7 to 17. I'm 18 now 19 in August, by multiple men. 7-17 by the same but 3 different guys plus him at 14 and my ex and the same guy from when I was 7 and 15. My ex was abusive he never hit me but he would get mad and then rape me. He would rip my pants down didnt matter where we were and he would roughly rape me and cover my mouth so I couldn't make any noises. Anyways my fiance knows about all of it and is super sweet understanding and caring about all of it. And wishes he could have protected me (we met when I was 17 right after it all stopped).Today I'm extremely moody and I was getting pissy at him and stuff so finally after dealing with it for the past 2 weeks and now he raised his voice/yelled and told me to stop getting pissy but I automatically shut down. It triggered me. Flash backs and shit. I was so scared I started shaking I couldn't move I froze (I don't want hate on him because he didn't do anything wrong and would never do anything to hurt me) but I flenched when we tried comforting me after seeing how I reacted. He kinda backed off then to give me space. Hes home on lunch break rn so after a little he came back in and picked me up placed me on the bed and just held me he apologized said he won't yell again and explained he was just hurt with how I've been acting and held me tight told me he loved me and said he was so sorry again. But now he's asleep next to me and I'm sitting up in bed crying and having the thought from that come back and don't know what to do. It scared me so much but not because I'm scared of him but it triggered me and the thoughts are popping up and shit. But I don't wanna bother him because ik he needs the sleep. Sorry ig I just needed to let it all out.