Call me miserable, jealous, bitter , angry ect

I feel so horrible but can’t help it. Back in July my husband and I lost our third pregnancy. I was 21 weeks with a girl. We had just gotten the nursery started. The grieving process has been hell. Everyone around us is getting pregnant.

Being stuck in quarantined has been horrible. My husband is still working so I’m stuck at home all day alone. My 30th bday is coming up ... we will need to do surrogacy for a family , which means it takes longer and is A LOT of money. This Coronavirus has delayed the process.

So I just found out my husbands cousins gf is pregnant. They are 24 and it wasn’t planned. No one on either side of the family likes her. They are constantly breaking up. I guess they went to the courthouse and got married because she’s pregnant. He has said he didn’t want all this so young and here it is.

Why do I have so much hate 😭 I don’t want to be that person. But after what we’ve gone through and what we have to go through to have a family makes it that much harder.