Let me add somethings weeks to months ago we had a very healthy and great sex life, we tried toys, watch porn together (which was our favorite) and other things. One night while watching and having sex he said "I love her body" it was obvious but when he said it out loud it kinda turned made me feel a certain way. It was the wording and how he LOVED her body and not just LIKED it; I don't look anything like the girl and he has never commented on my body, just that he thinks I am sexy and there is nothing wrong with me.

So fast forward we stopped watching all together and tried to have sex without it and he even stopped watching by himself to see if it would help, he could still get it up but not for all. He said it was the way I always brought it up and the one time he didn't get hard I didn't let it go for days. So now all he can focus on is not going soft and staying hard, we have been together for 11 years, he has watched porn since I met him and it has never been an issue with his man hood and me till now.... so is it really me? My attitude?

Here is the story....

Yesterday I got my SO off in the morning, for the past week or so he has had a hard time getting hard for me and he says he doesn't know why. Well yesterday he asked after I was done if I wanted to turn on porn so he could stay hard. I just looked at him and said "seriously?, do you think that makes me feel good? You needing to watch porn to stay hard for me?".

He said he didn't say it as in thats the only way he could stay hard he says it just really turns him on when he watch together, I just stopped and went to sleep. Last night we started to get it on and he stayed hard the whole time and I was finally able to get off being ontop (its been awhile since he hasn't been able to stay hard for me). I asked him what he was thinking about to stay hard and he said he was just focusing on getting me since I deserved it and after he got me I kept going and got faster so he went.

He has no issues if I give him a blow job he stays hard and can go easy, but if it involves having sex for a long period of time anymore he can't stay hard unless he is focusing on something. He said it's ever since I made a big deal about him saying he loved a porn stars body while having sex, he said my attitude and constant neediness has been a turn off and I have been trying to be better but it's hard especially whenever he says he has to tell himself to stay hard while having sex so he doesn't disappoint me but it doesn't work.

I feel he's not telling me everything even though he swears up and down he isn't hiding anything. I 110% trust him, he is a very truthful person sometimes to truthful.

I guess I just keep telling myself it's me and that he's not attracted to me but he says that's not true. Its been 11 years in August and he says if he wasn't he wouldn't be with me and that he loves me...

What do you think?

Edit:

We just talked more about it and he thinks I am thinking to much into this and what he said meant nothing. He just really enjoys watching porn and having sex with me, we had a really good run for weeks till he made the comment about her body and thats when everything took a turn. All he wants is too go back to the it was with us but its hard because of my attitude.

He has been really good about cuddling, loving on me and making me feel good idk I just don't know!