Threesome Woes and Worries

Okay, some back story. I don’t judge people who do threesomes. I actually think people who can pull them off are somewhat admirable and confident. Though I also tend to lean toward agreeing they ruin lots of relationships. I’m a married woman now, and my husband, before we got married, had asked about the possibility of a threesome a couple of times. I said no, no, and no, because personally I feel like I don’t have the confidence to make it work in the end. I’ll always have that insecurity that he likes the other person more than me or else he wouldn’t want to have sex with them if he didn’t.

Anyway, before I started dating my husband, I actually was down for threesomes. As a single person, I don’t feel anything against them because I wouldn’t have to deal with the insecurities inside my relationship. I had actually made plans to have with with a friend and his at the time girlfriend and was super excited because I had always told myself I wanted to try having sex with a girl at least once before I settled down and got serious with someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I could ever seriously date a woman as I myself am way too much drama, but I am very sexually attracted to them. So I wanted to try it.

Well, low and behold I got in a relationship before I could try it and I called it off. I wasn’t comfortable anymore, as I shouldn’t be having just started this new relationship. I never told my husband about it either to this day. He’ll bring up the possibility every great once in a while about a threesome, like once every 6-8 months or so and I always say no. But the longer we’ve made it into our relationship, the more I actually still sort of regret not trying it with a lady at least once. I will never ever leave my husband and love him more than anything in the world, and think he is more than enough sexually, so if I have to sexually stunt myself in a fantasy, I will. But another part of me sort of feels like since he would like a threesome anyway, if this would be a good opportunity for the both of us? But then I think I’m being too selfish for telling him no all these years just to say yes because I have a little desire to play out a fantasy I never did before settling down.

What would you do? Tell your husband and suggest a threesome? Recognize the insecurity of recovering from adding a third person into the bedroom and not mention it at all? Or something else?

I realize this is a public forum and lots of people will feel the need to share opinions completely against all of this. Simple fact is I’m not asking to be judged, I’m just asking to get some insight. If you feel the need to be nasty or judge me go for it since no one can stop you, but that’s not what I’m here for. And thank you to anyone who can take the time to appreciate my concerns and help me go through a sexually frustrating decision 😂