Need to vent!! 😭

Hey all,

First off I appreciate if you take the time to read this. I desperately just need to vent...

So back in October by husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first baby after just getting off of the pill at the end of August. It was shocking and so exciting. We were able to enjoy that bliss for 1 month and at our 2nd doctors appt (9 weeks) we found out there was no heart beat and that I was having a missed

miscarriage... my heart broke

They sent me home and had me wait 1 week to do anything “just to see if my body would realize” That alone was one of the most gut wrenching experiences I’ve ever been through.

After the week, I decided with my husband that we would go the medication route.

I took medication and miscarried at home, with my husband by my side. Overall it went as well as it could and only bled for about 7 days. My emotions were all over the place and all I wanted was to be pregnant again.

My body most definitely took this hard as well- my periods have been all over the place: from 45 days to 38 days to 31 days to 36 day cycles.

Emotionally I have healed, except for when my period comes. I’m feeling so upset with myself and my body that I can’t get pregnant again. Why?!? I just want to understand!!

All I want is to have a baby with my husband and I am so scared that it’s never going to happen for me ever again. 😭

So I’m sitting here with my period... finally and just feeling defeated and angry. When will this get better? Is there any suggestions on going through this with a better mind set?

Thank you to whoever took the time to read... I just needed to get it out somewhere..