I broke up with my boyfriend and I miss him but I feel so silly to take him back again for the third time.

When we first started dating he told me he walked away from his job but later I found out he was actually fired for recreation drug use in his twenties.

I cared at first, but then I figured it was before me, while he did lie maybe it was just embarrassing as he said it was to admit to me. Then - few months in he went to the bathroom and I saw his phone light up- I did look Ana I saw he was reaching out to an old flame ask how she was doing. He told me he didn’t talk to her anymore or those people in years because they from his past when got in trouble in his twenties. I asked him a lot if he dealt with anyone who did the stupidity he dad years ago and he said no. But he lied to about it. He claimed he reached out to her to see if she was on during COVID.

Last lie - it may be stupid but for months up to a year I known him I smell smoke and I’m not attracted to smokers. I asked him for months because I would smell it. He said it’s ok my head and he doesn’t smoke. I begged him to stay loyal and if he did do anything we can work through it , but nope. He said “ babe I don’t smoke”. “ just stop babe”.

Then he admitted for all the times I smelled it he actually did smoke and he just had 1. He said he is not a smoker. But if you spoke every couple days - aren’t you a smoker?

I really care for him .... and we’re not talking now. I mean he still has some things at my house. But he blames it all on him and he feels guilty so he acts absent. I tried to think about it but it’s not clear to me. Would I be an idiot to say ok! Even though loyalty is important let’s do this again after you lied to me the third time - is there more ??? I ask him every time I catch him in a lie and he swears he told me all I need to know that was bothering me. He could just say to me months ago that , yes I do smoke occasionally but Im not a chain smoke. Then I would respond in a way to work through it. Am I making it a big deal? I have never seen him actually cheat and talk inappropriately to anyone. He does so much for me and shows me so much love. I believe he cares only for me despite him checking in his friend of the past. I just don’t know what to think. Should I make this right again ?

What do y’all think?