I’ve had this friend who is funny, can be helpful, and has done good things. He’s currently is staying at my old place with my mom but there are certain things that he does that I feel like are ruining our relationship and making me lose respect for him.

1- He doesn’t help my mom and barely shares household chores with her despite being roommates which I find selfish and lazy (she was fine rooming with him other than a stranger when she had just moved to the US). Like he never cleans his room to the point it stinks, he secretly uses her groceries/ food, toiletries and doesn’t replace them till she catches him which frustrates her despite her telling him several times. He only spends money on himself, like he buys lots of outfits and cosmetics but will not invest or contribute towards the house other than his rent.

2- I’ve helped him a couple of times but despite that, he doesn’t improve or just takes opportunities for granted like he didn’t have a place to stay and I hooked him up with my friend where he lived close to a year rent free and when my friend needed someone who can pay rent, he started coming by my place and started staying which I didn’t mind. Eventually when I got serious with my husband who was my bf then, I let him stay at my apartment by himself but during that time, he never EVER cared or cleaned the place. He wanted a job in the entertainment industry and kept asking me to ask my husband who works in this industry to hook him up with a job so I eventually managed to hook him up with a job thru a friend in the same industry. But he was let go. I think it’s because he was always late to work which is okay with me.

3- He doesn’t respect boundaries like I left some of my belongings since it’s technically my place. I don’t mind friends borrowing my stuff but using them and not washing them and letting them smell funky, I feel is disrespected. He basically was wearing my clothes, bras, jackets, purses and not washing them. So my mom informed me and when she did, I just got upset since I felt like there was always an issue with him I had to deal with. I basically texted him and told him I’m upset and feel disrespected and he’s a guy so he technically has a bigger build and would make my clothes bigger. But then that very day, I told him I how felt, by coincidence someone created a fake profile (using and pretending to be my hubby’s best friends name) wrote malicious things about my and my husband on his ex’s IG wall pretty much talking about how our marriage is a sham and that we are pretending and that my husband actually my husband just got with me to have kids and I’m not really his cup of tea. The reason why I suspect him is that three years ago, I was once having troubles in my relationship before we got married and my husband almost left me. The only person I ever confided in about my problems was him and he told my mom behind my back that I was the one chasing my husband and he didn’t really like me. He’s the only friend who knew my husband’s best friend’s name and knew particular details which were mentioned on the bad comments.

4- He has been abit irresponsible like he didn’t take care of some bills and since the lease is in my name, I was sent to collections. I told him though and he made the payments. Another he lies about odd things like his age, he also pretended not to have studied with my brother and my brother insists he knew him in school. He also sneakily used my brother’s credit card to pay his bill when they out clubbing (he’s friends with my bro). My brother found out from his bank statement but didn’t confront him. Those things make me paranoid because I feel like someone who has no self awareness can do that do you too. Hence another reason I think he wrote shitty things about me on my hubby’s ex’s IG wall. Also, it just makes me abit sad that after all these years, he’s never shared his sexuality to me yet he literally was the closest friend of mine and my confidant. I’ve always known he’s gay and so have our friends but we don’t care and still love him and even him wearing my stuff. I just find it odd that I confide in him and he barely shares details about his life like his family, his past, his dating life etc. He only talks about general things like politics, movies etc. Anyways, I would appreciate some feedback. How would you approach such a relationship? Drop it or keep it or are these non issues?